


Latch

by amscribbles



Series: even as time goes by [1]
Category: Super Junior
Genre: Army Enlistment, Fluff, Light Angst, Light-Hearted, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 22:26:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9925031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amscribbles/pseuds/amscribbles
Summary: It’s the night before Hyukjae’s enlistment and he meets Donghae in his old dorm room.





	

**Author's Note:**

> _Originally posted: September 3, 2015 on Asianfanfics_
> 
>  
> 
> Okay first things first, I did this in like in the heat of the moment, basically a few hours after the announcement of their enlistment dates. I’m not really familiar with things that has to be done before the date of enlistment itself, not sure if there are things they have to do or places they need to be so if there are inaccuracies I apologize lol
> 
> Also, in this fic i assumed HenMi lived with them and even Siwon was with them at some point so yes it’s OT15 DEAL WITH IT haha also i think i read somewhere that they have dorm problems something i can’t remember if they find a new one or something i just made it about the very famous 11th floor/12th floor dorm rooms lol THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION I KNOW THERE’S GOING TO BE PEOPLE TAKING NON-AU FICS SO SERIOUSLY THEY WANT EVERYTHING ACCURATE PLEASE SPARE ME WITH THIS ONE MY INTERNET’S SLOW hahaha
> 
> Well that’s it! I hope you enjoy!! I got really depressed writing this haha but more because it’s true since they’re really enlisting but the overall feel of the fic is light-hearted i swear :)
> 
> CREDITS (and thanks to's haha)!!!! Title from one of my current favourite songs [Latch (Cover) by Natalie Taylor](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tklJObFpqw). And @rockstarhae, @m3ifang90, @heartnseoulme and @lee101544 from Twitter for reading this first and giving your feedbacks! It means a lot to me!!! hehehe :3

“Yeah I’m already here.” Hyukjae utters, rolling his eyes as he listens to Kyuhyun rant out on the other line, his call coming just in time as Hyukjae is heading out of the lift.

“Look, I don’t really expect the dorm to be squeaky clean when you’re barely in there,” He cackles with yet another snarky remark from Kyuhyun. “And you’re moving out soon, right?”

There’s a pregnant pause that follows and Hyukjae bites his inner cheek. They have went through this already, have been talking about it ever since the enlistment date of the very first member to join the army has been announced. It has been a long time coming if they’re being honest, has been a long time since management has given them the permission to go live in their own. But members left and came back one by one and yet they still chose to stay, hanging on the previously shitty, pathetic dorm rooms that once housed fifteen boys with big dreams. Has it been ten years really? Hyukjae is still in awe.

“ _I wanted to say something very dramatic about that but I wouldn’t because you have enough drama going on now.”_ Kyuhyun’s voice brings him back from his reverie, eliciting a cackle out of his lips.

“I don’t have drama going on in my life right now, thank you very much.” He utters back, fingers reaching to fix his fringe out of habit only to realize there’s no fringe to fix anymore. Hyukjae runs a hand on his freshly trimmed buzz cut, the selca he uploaded a few hours ago still causing a Twitter breakdown among his fans. Okay, maybe the farewell message he wrote accompanying it was a bit dramatic.

He hears Kyuhyun snort over the phone, bickering even more while telling him he’ll be going back late, so he better make sure he would lock everything properly. Hyukjae scoffs and says of course he will, ignoring the surge of nostalgia striking all of a sudden just as he stands before the 11th floor dorm.

Kyuhyun is then biding goodbye, reminding him he’ll be calling again tomorrow. He tells Hyukjae that he has to be sure he’ll pick up his phone, for he already decided to enlist quietly and privately, he should at least let Kyuhyun send him off even just through a phone call. Hyukjae cackles yet again and says yes, promising a specific minute for Kyuhyun while he keys in the dorm’s pass code.

“Everything’s going to be fine, hyung. It’s gonna be alright.” Kyuhyun says just as Hyukjae thinks he’s about to end the call.

Hyukjae halts as he opens the door, his sneakers scratching over the cold wooden tiles of his former home, his gaze landing on the once overflowing shoe rack that is now almost empty saved for a few pairs of Kyuhyun’s shoes. The noise that used to greet him when Ryeowook’s working in the kitchen and 12th floor’s occupants decided to crash in and asked for dinner now nothing but a memory. He lets a small, sad smile breaks through.  

“Yeah,” He whispers back, and though they both know Hyukjae isn’t being entirely truthful, Kyuhyun takes it and says goodbye.

 

It’s been two weeks since he moved out, he and Kyuhyun have been living proper roommates in the last days they were together. Of course when they said they’re not being dramatic, they totally were, so on their free days they locked themselves inside their dorm, playing online games, ordering black-bean noodles in the middle of the night, drinking and cuddling their feelings out. Some days Heechul would join them, taking pictures of an unsuspecting Hyukjae and posting it with anecdotes from that day or recollections from years ago. He often got really sentimental after that. Hyukjae shakes his head at the thought.

The dorm looks empty. When you get used to corners filled with clothes, shelves of CDs, awards and fan gifts or walls littered with pictures and huge portraits, it will indeed look bland. Kyuhyun has been packing, Hyukjae’s aware of that. The usual clutter the boys of the 12th floor left for him to clean aren’t there anymore, even the kitchen utensils Ryeowook used for cooking. Suddenly it feels like there’s too much space, and Hyukjae shakes his head at the thought that their apartment may not be as small as they have complained before. Has it really been this wide and big? Or maybe it just looked tiny because it has been cramped with clothes, gifts and memories before? Of distant pitter-patters or deliberate stomping of feet, of angry yells or hushed whispers, of joyous laughter or teary outbursts. Of a group of young boys that were suddenly men.

Has it really been ten years?

He opens one of the cabinets near the kitchen and finds what he’s coming back for. It’s a couple of shirts he misplaced, had forgotten to pack up and was originally going with the stuff he’s bringing inside the camp. He rolls them up and tucks under his left arm, closing the cabinet gently and taking one last glance around the place.

Once Kyuhyun leaves it’ll be the end of it, a finality of an era, a chapter closed.

Hyukjae stops when his eyes fall on his room. He refuses to be sappy than he already is. He already had a night of reminiscing that one time the hyungs drag him out to drink. He’s not here to go down memory lane anyway, Jesus, he has been doing that for the past weeks, for the past few months! But his door is slightly open and there’s light coming out of it. Has Kyuhyun been using his room since he left?

Hyukjae is swiftly hit with the feeling that he should have known. He knows, knew even before he pushes his door faintly. No one comes in his room uninvited, uses his room even when he’s not there, treats it like it belongs to him and not Hyukjae’s. There’s no one.

But one.

 

Theatrics probably runs in the band, heck they’re all actors at some point. But if anyone is hailed to be drama queen, Lee Donghae takes the crown (no matter how Jungsoo or Heechul insist it’s theirs.)

Donghae’s currently curl up in a ball, lying in the empty bedroom with his back facing the door. He’s sniffing softly and Hyukjae isn’t sure if it’s just his always runny nose or that he is crying. He is browsing on his phone, his left arm folded and tucked under his head as his pillow.

“What are you doing?” Hyukjae asks, startling the life out of Donghae he is abruptly rummaging to get up, head swerving quickly over Hyukjae’s direction he might have break it. Hyukjae flinches at the thought, his reaction immediate.

“Christ, Donghae.” He mutters quite harshly, dropping everything on the floor and kneeling before the other man. He soon realizes that Donghae’s fine, evident with the way he’s gawking, looking like a deer caught in headlights and Hyukjae chuckles, face fond.

“What’s wrong with you?” Hyukjae asks, taking the spot beside the still gaping man, crossing his legs as he sits. Hyukjae watches as Donghae’s eyes stares back at him for a moment before gradually, as if timed with the ticking of the clock, Donghae is looking at his hair.

“You’ve cut your hair.” He whispers and Hyukjae is suddenly conscious, a hand automatically reaching for his head. He has a beanie with him but he left it in the car thinking he won’t be meeting anyone at this hour inside the building, nor he intended to stay longer anyway. He might have also hated how he looked sick wearing it but now he’s regretting his decisions and wishing he has the beanie on instead. Donghae’s sad expression tells him how bad it must have looked like.

“I know it looks awful...,” he starts coyly, trying to make a joke out of it while his hand unconsciously brushes over his head repeatedly, as if the act will magically cover it. Donghae remains staring.

“You cut it,” Donghae says again, his voice croaking a little and Hyukjae is quickly heedful that there is something else bothering the other. He straightens and reaches for Donghae’s knee, the urge to comfort every time Donghae is sad has always been a second nature, no matter how awkward his attempts appear to be.

“I-It’s not like you didn’t know I would. I mean,” Hyukjae licks his lips a tad nervously, patting Donghae’s knee, “I texted you before I got them chopped off, didn’t I?”

Donghae’s face crumples even more, burying his face in his hands and whimpering a pained ‘noooo.’ It’s Hyukjae’s turn to gape, blinking right back at Donghae and yet before he could ask what the hell is going on, Donghae’s looking back at him with such a sad, defeated face.

“I’m so stupid, Hyukjae.” He says, a tiny pout on his lips. He then presses those pink lips together, trembling as he gazes back at Hyukjae. Or more specifically, his hair. Hyukjae tries not to feel insecure.

“We could’ve done it together. Shave all the hair off and I don’t know, maybe make fun of each other.” Donghae whines the last few words, gripping a handful of the short hair he got for the repackage album. (He previously said he’ll cut them off on the 14th, so Hyukjae won’t see him.)

“And now I have all these hair and you’re bald.” Donghae continues to mop and Hyukjae actually takes it upon himself the right to be offended because Donghae may be grumbling right now because he’s upset, but Hyukjae isn’t bald.

“I’m not bald.” He voices out and Donghae glares at him. “I mean, it’s called a buzz cut—,”

“Hyukjae!” Donghae screams and Hyukjae isn’t sure what they’re arguing over here. Wait, they weren’t even arguing, right? He gawks exactly how Donghae did earlier, momentarily perplexed as always and then all of a sudden, Donghae is laughing.

“God, I’m really stupid.” He says, hands covering his face again, shoulders shaking from his cackles.

“And a bit crazy seems like it,” Hyukjae can’t help but to remark, Donghae peeking behind his hands to pointedly scowl at him. Hyukjae lifts his hands up before Donghae snaps again but the other begin to laugh once more, propping an arm on his knee while he presses his cheek on his hand, eyes locking on Hyukje’s face.

“I’ve been stupid lately.” He breathes the words out once the chortles end, a small smile and sad brown eyes directed back at Hyukjae’s. There’s a hint of regret in there, but mostly they’re just pensive, wistful like how they have always been famous of. Donghae’s other hand hovers above Hyukjae’s knee this time, fingers brushing and poking it lightly. Donghae’s eyes cast downward, following the traces his fingers make.

The silence brings Hyukjae back to several weeks ago.

 

He’s not completely sure what prompted the idea, was sceptical Donghae had thought it over like how he made it sound like or it was just a spur of the moment, impulsive kind of thing. It’s not like they were arguing or anything, in fact it was a quiet morning with Hyukjae making some breakfast in Donghae’s kitchen. They were in Donghae’s apartment, which has been as much as Hyukjae’s too since he was there when they’re not in the dorms, his pictures and clothes mixed with Donghae’s made it pretty apparent. Donghae was quietly sipping his coffee, staring blankly into space which Hyukjae didn’t put much heed to considering Donghae always do that, be it in the earliest of the mornings they’re locked in the comforts of the places they call home or in the middle of the stage with thousands of fans screaming his name.

Hyukjae was silently flipping pancakes, about to ask Donghae if he’d like his pancakes with some sausages like the ones they had in California last August when Donghae spoke.

“I think we need to lie low and spend some time apart.”

The pancake Hyukjae was flipping flew out of the pan and Hyukjae was quick to grab it, cursing when he burnt his fingers by doing so yet still managing to throw it over the stacks of other pancakes. He waved his fingers to somehow mend the pain, turning the stove off and rushing to the sink to apply some cold water. Donghae was immediately beside him, turning the tap on for him and scolding him for being so reckless.

“Well you kind of caught me off guard right there so you’re really not in the position to blame me for this.” It was meant to come out as a joke but the way Donghae tensed up before locking eyes at Hyukjae, his face so chagrined, had Hyukjae dropping all the mischief away.

“Are you...” Hyukjae started and they had known each other for fifteen years that Donghae needed not to hear the rest of his words to know what’s going inside his head.  

_Are you breaking up with me?_

“No! No of course not, don’t be ridiculous Hyukjae!” Donghae said, gripping his hand too tightly Hyukjae winced. Donghae was quick to apologize but didn’t let go of him, reaching for a clean rug to dry his hand.

Hyukjae watched him, confused. Fifteen years and Donghae could still surprise him at times.

“Just. I think we need this. This time apart.” Donghae explained, his eyes not meeting his as he gently press the cloth on Hyukjae’s reddening fingers. “So as to get used to it when... when we have to really be away from each other.”

Hyukjae didn’t say a word. He knew Donghae still has something he wanted to say, evident with the way he was pursing his lips, perhaps contemplating on how to word out what he’s about to say. Of course it’s not the first time Donghae came up with thoughts like this. Of course Hyukjae found it a bit silly, if he’s being honest. But just like how he had found every other ideas of Donghae that was ridiculous, he was still the first one to jump in once Donghae said ‘go.’

He had the feeling it can be more than a fleeting thought this time though.

 

“I’m so sorry.” The Donghae now utters, his lips trembling again. He’s gripping Hyukjae’s jean-clad knee, fresh tears flowing on his already damp cheeks.

“Don’t say ‘it’s alright,’ you know it’s not.” Donghae warns, looking like a sad kicked puppy just as Hyukjae opens his mouth to say that, well, it’s alright.

 

Yeah, it wasn’t alright. Hyukjae was left frustrated the second he realized Donghae was serious. That he wasn’t supposed to come to his apartment anymore, or see him everyday like he has been doing for the past fifteen years. It’s not alright that Donghae had practically chosen to stay away from him, chose to ride a different van when going in schedules, decided to hang out with his other friends during their free time. It’s not alright that Donghae closed off everytime Hyukjae tried to approach, staring longingly from across the room and looking very upset then walking out the moment Hyukjae attempted to reach out and comfort. Heechul said it was stupid and that he should knocked some sense out of his boyfriend because the both of them being miserable made the others quite depress as well. Hyukjae had bitterly chuckled at that and shook his head.

For some reason, he gradually realized that Donghae may have had a point.

 

“It’s alright.” He says and laughs when Donghae glowers at him. He looks like a disgruntled kitten.

Hyukjae missed him so much.

“No, no. Let me explain.” He says, grabbing Donghae’s hand on his knee and holding it tightly. He feels that light quiver when their fingers touch and Hyukjae sighs quietly because it’s been so long.

He understands Donghae feels the same because he clutches a tad harder.

“I admit it was stupid. I mean, you had a history with dumb ideas.” Hyukjae cackles when Donghae purses his lips, his thumb gently stroking Donghae’s knuckles.

“But then, in the three weeks we were apart, though I admit I spent the first two days waiting for you to cave in and come at me, I realized, it wasn’t so stupid after all.” Hyukjae says and Donghae looks at him, confused and a little hurt.

“Don’t look like that. It’s not that I didn’t miss you, you know I did. I still do.” Hyukjae smiles, gripping his hand firmly. “I’ll be missing you every day until I get to hold you again.”

Donghae’s face crumples once more, faint sobs coming out of his lips. Hyukjae looks at him fondly and urges him to lift his gaze back.

“It’s just, in a way it helped. We’ve been so dependent with each other. I’ve met you when I was fifteen, I’ve wanted to do and learn a lot of things with you even before I could even grasp the concept of being with someone.  We’ve been doing everything together since then. Hell, those several months you were in China had us so miserable I just had to join SJM for my own selfish reasons.” Hyukjae laughs, looking back with all the other selfish, silly, and spontaneous decisions he did for Donghae.

“You and I have said a million times that you need me to function.” Hyukjae speaks, latching their fingers and smiling at the way their hands fit so perfectly. He looks at Donghae, enchanted and very much in love, “They didn’t know I need you just as much.”

Donghae sighs, still tearful, still sorry, but not as sad as he was a little while ago. Hyukjae cocks an eyebrow when he hauls him to stand up, briefly puzzled when Donghae starts walking out of the room. He then begins to giggle when he figures Donghae is leading him to the living room, pulling him to lie on the couch.

 “Shut up. The floor was cold and this is much comfortable.” Donghae whispers, squeezing Hyukjae further before turning around so they’re lying with his back pressed on Hyukjae’s chest.

Donghae likes being the little spoon.

“And it’s not like we’re really apart, weren’t we? We’ve been texting each other constantly Youngwoon-hyung had to threaten me he’d toss my phone that one time we’re out drinking and you’re telling me about the movie you were watching with Henry and Ryeowook.” Hyukjae whispers, getting the conversation back on track. His fingers remained entwined with Donghae’s, his boy locked in his embrace.

At last.

Donghae scoffs, pulling Hyukjae’s arms to tighten around him, eliminating the space between them as much as possible.

“It’s going to be different once we’re in the army though.” Hyukjae hears Donghae murmurs. “I can’t text you as much as I’d like, or tweet as many rain references as I can in the hopes that you see it, get the hint and call me.”

Hyukjae snorts this time, remembering the not so subtle tweets Donghae has peppered Twitter and Instagram with his love of rain, longing of rain the three weeks they’re separated. Donghae elbows him for making fun of him and he yelps, laughing and hugging the boy tighter in consolation.

“It’s not like I’d be gone completely. You’re making it sound like I’m dying or something.” Hyukjae mutters and Donghae elbows him once again albeit softer this time, the hand that isn’t holding Hyukjae’s balled in a fist. Hyukjae buries his nose at the back of his boy’s neck, pressing a soft kiss over his nape.

“I’ll call you whenever I can. I’ll write letters. When I have something I want to tell you and I can’t, I’ll write them out and send it to you when it’s convenient. I won’t be gone. You know I won’t.”

Donghae sighs, Hyukjae hopes he’s at least appeased.

“I know that. You know I can be dramatic.” Donghae mutters and Hyukjae doesn’t even try to repress his grin because yes, he absolutely knows.

“It’s just that. I will miss you. You’re not even gone yet and I already do. And I hate myself for suggesting that stupid separation in the first place—yeah, yeah I get that it made sense and it helped. I mean, I even got to spend a day with Siwon and he was so happy. I’m happy he’s happy.” Donghae says even before Hyukjae could tell him it’s fine. “It’s just... that. That I’ll miss you. And I’m saying this not so you’ll comfort me or convince me that you’ll miss me too because I know you will. I mean... I’m so lovable.”

Hyukjae scoffs, snuggling further on Donghae’s neck that has the other in fits of giggles.

“I’ll just miss you, so much. And I wish I could blink these two years away and I’m back with you again.”

Hyukjae nods quietly, pressing a kiss on the back of Donghae’s head as a means of saying he understands. That he knows the three weeks they spent away from each other is all but gone now, useless to still maul over, and tomorrow is much more important as it begins the two years they’ll be apart. Two years they’ll be missing each other, two years growing and discovering things without the other. Two years of collecting memories for themselves, two years of being on their own feet.

 Two years of Hyukjae and Donghae.

Two years compared to the previous fifteen.

Two years before the start of so many more to come.

 

“Earlier, when I came in here, I was thinking,” Hyukjae pinches Donghae’s side when he whispers ‘That’s dangerous, making the other chuckle.

“I was thinking... Has it really been ten years since twelve idiots first seen this once sorry excuse of a dorm?” Hyukjae whispers again and Donghae giggles softly. “It felt like it was just a while ago when we’re just young children nervous of our first stage and now we’re taking hiatus because half of the band needs to comply with their obligations. I wonder where all that time went. It felt like I just... blinked and... we’re here.”

“Yeah, yeah stop copying me.” Donghae taunts but the way he smiles to himself tells Hyukjae he’s getting where he’s at.

“Two years is just a short time. It’s just a blink, a second, a passing moment,” Hyukjae whispers, wrapping Donghae up in his touch. “Just a flicker of the time I’m planning to be with you.”

Donghae is sniffing again, Hyukjae hears it. But unlike before, the tears are not because he’s sad, or regretful. He’s still missing him, they always will.

 

But they’re going to be fine.

They know.

When tomorrow comes and Kyuhyun calls him, telling him it’ll be alright, Hyukjae will be saying the truth when he says ‘Yes.’

It’s going to be alright.

 

 

“I would look ugly being bald.” Donghae mops, grumbling as he eats a slice of the pizza they ordered a while ago.

“It’s a buzz cut.” Hyukjae corrects, taking a sip of his soft drink as he unconsciously run a hand over his head. “And no you wouldn’t. You’d still look cute and the fans will be torn in cooing and gushing over how adorable you look being so serious to crying their hearts out because their baby is all grown up.”

Donghae snorts but later on smirks like the little minx he is.

“That’s right.”

Hyukjae shakes his head, unbelievably fond.  He can’t wait for the day their hours aren’t numbered as it is now. They’re both still scared at the idea of tomorrow, of being apart, but they’re completely secured nonetheless that no matter what happens, no matter how huge the changes would be along the way, they will always be coming back to this.

Hyukjae’s hand latch with Donghae’s, clutched tightly and not letting go. And perhaps, someday, if Fate lets him have his way, with identical silver bands around their ring fingers.

Hyukjae can’t wait. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Give me love? :) [ @_ifallelsefails ](http://www.twitter.com/_ifallelsefails) :)


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